I remember watching live news of hurricane Katrina's aftermath. I worried about the people going through withdrawals since everything they owned was gone, including medications. I would have been one of those people, not only dealing with disaster of incomprehensible hardship, I would also be sick not being able to help anyone around me. I would have been taking the resources of all the good Samaritans struggling to help others through the crisis.because I was sick from withdrawals and needing their help.. I need to be an able body making it to safety and helping those in need.
I vowed that day I should take control and see if I could get off the medication, but I couldn't endure, the pills were there, and I wanted to end the yucky sickness the withdrawals caused me, so I would succumb, take the medication and wait a few hours while I slowly climb back to what I called "feeling normal".
I don't think I felt normal taking the medication, because I didn't know what normal was. It was my normal and it was a false one. Little did I know changing what I ate, taking supplements, getting off medication, doing light therapy, exersize (what little I have)doing cognitive therapy in changing my "stinkin thinkin" and finally manifestation with the pray rain journal would have me declaring my cure.
I am looking forward to the day I don't have the electrical impulses, but they are much easier to deal with when I have been nourishing my body with whole foods, eating small snack type meals every two hours and now adding the chinese herb supplements.
Sorry I can't pinpoint the exact thing that made me feel like I have climbed out of the hole, but I can't help think everything helped, and I needed it all.
The biggest relief came in understanding why I had so much pain. I am a believer, you have to do the emotional work too. There were emotional reasons I was so depressed and didn't recognize these, thinking I had dealt with my life pretty good, stuffing all the pain by saying I let things roll off my shoulder.
If you feel like you let things roll off your shoulder, you may find yourself depressed someday. It may be out of the blue and you fall deeper and deeper where you do not want to live because the physical pain is so difficult to endure. You don't feel like you can ever climb out. Like me, you may have given yourself a disease because of the emotional pain. You may have put yourself in dangerous situations because you wanted to die.
It does get better but ONLY IF YOU DO THE WORK. You may try one thing and then another. You can live with depression and the pain or decide to to something about it. The next few weeks are going to pass anyway, so why not start today. You will find many of my resources I used to cure my depression throughout this blog, but what works for me, may not be what works for you. I can't tell you how many times I did internet searches about depression. You keep searching and don't give up because take it from one who was going to put an end to my life a few short months ago, Depression can end up being the best thing that ever happened to you. In it, you will find your dreams, what is keeping you from achieving your dreams and find a beautiful life with profound beauty and a deep love you made it out. You may have accepted help, but the real work came from you. I am proud today I made it out of the hole. I hope someday, if you are reading this, you can write to me and tell me how beautiful and meaningful your depression was for you.
pamborum@hotmail.com
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